The Skinny Brahman:
A Most Peculiar Publication in the Pastoral Realm
Dearest Gentle Readers,
While your devoted author makes no claims to being the mysterious pen behind “The Skinny Brahman” – that deliciously anonymous publication currently setting the cattle world aflame – one simply must admire brilliant gossip when one sees it. And so, in tribute to this unknown author’s mastery of the craft, let us review their work in the style it so richly deserves.
It appears a most intriguing publication has found its way into the hands of the agricultural elite, causing quite the stir among the bovine bourgeoisie. “The Skinny Brahman,” as this anonymous chronicle styles itself, has proven to be every bit as sharp as a well-polished show halter and twice as cutting.
Much like your devoted author, this mysterious correspondent seems to possess an uncanny ability to be everywhere and nowhere at once, gathering the most delectable morsels of gossip from the hallowed grounds of the World Brahman Congress. And what morsels they are, indeed!
The author’s wit sparkles like morning dew on prairie grass as they recount the supposedly grand affair that was the National Show and World Brahman Congress. One cannot help but appreciate the delicious irony in their observation that the aisles were “as empty as the line at a bar in a West Texas town.” Such vivid imagery!
Their political observations prove particularly entertaining, with clever wordplay that would make even this author’s pen green with envy. The way they dance around names while making their meaning crystal clear – “SWAN dove in and CHECKED a few boxes and MAGICally made some champions” – is nothing short of masterful. One must admire the artistry of sharing secrets while technically revealing nothing at all.
The sale report provides a fascinating contrast, dear readers. While most of the publication drips with sardonic observations, here we find genuine praise for the astronomical sums commanded by these prestigious bovines. Two lots at $50,000 each! It appears that even in times of apparent disappointment, the Brahman breed maintains its ability to command princely sums.
Most intriguing is their coverage of the mysterious new EVP – an appointment that has set tongues wagging faster than a fan at a summer cattle show. “Who is pulling the strings?” indeed. This author finds herself most eager to follow that particular thread as it unravels.
The anonymous writer’s observations about office affairs and staffing troubles remind one remarkably of the ton’s own household dramas, merely traded for an agricultural setting. The politics, it seems, remain ever the same, whether in a ballroom or a barn.
This author must confess to finding herself thoroughly entertained by this new voice in our midst. While the ton concerns itself with marriage prospects and social climbing, it appears the Brahman world has its own equally fascinating intrigues. The upcoming election between the “Cajun Vice and the Texas Tyson” promises to be as riveting as any season’s most anticipated match.
And now, dear readers, I find myself most anticipating the next installment of this agricultural exposé. After all, if there’s one thing NOT Lady Whistledown appreciates, it’s competition in the gossip trade – especially when it’s executed with such delightful panache.
Yours Truly,
NOT Lady Whistledown
P.S. – To the anonymous author of The Skinny Brahman: Well played, indeed. This author tips her quill to you.
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